I wish I’d never met her, not because of anything she’s done, not because she’s broken my heart, not because she owes me anything. No, I wish I’d never met her because she’s destroyed any hope I ever had; Nothing from here is the same anymore, everything has changed. I can’t be who I was, I never will be and she doesn’t even know that. She’s made me realise that things were never as they seemed, I was naive, young and stupid.
I wrote a poem.
Young, hopeful, determined, smiling,
failing, learning, drifting, blinded.
Sleeping, waiting, coping, faking,
hurting, yearning, loving, hating.
Trying, flying, misplaced, frightened,
rush of pride, suspense, excitement.
Flashing, crashing, crawling, mornings.
Family, friends, friends?Employment.
Brothers, together, warmth- as one,
Away from home, complete unknown.
Pressure, press, camera, phone,
Presenter, sex, talent gone.
Earning trust, commercial, lust,
Sold off, unplugged, scared, unjust.
Initial dreams, distant past,
Freedom, mind, Forever trapped.